2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
