You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
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