She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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