She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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