I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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