Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
