i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
