operation have a gay friend backfired
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
