He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
