somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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