If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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