I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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