Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
