my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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