Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
