Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
