Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
