@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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