Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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