Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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