worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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