this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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