She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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