If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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