dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
