first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
