Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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