I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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