dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
