I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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