Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
