You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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