I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
