I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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