I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
