all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
