return my video game
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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