If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
