i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
