I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
