Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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