There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
this must be what syphilis tastes like
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
