she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
