And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
