is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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