i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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