i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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