You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
