gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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