you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
